I'm sick, still sick, my heart is sick

drinking: Apple & Mango j2o. You read that right, folks. Still off the booze, although it's becoming slightly more difficult.
listening to: My Ruin - Heartsick
choice lyrics: "God, are you listening? I hear you in my room / hot as the moon on the tenth day of June / There's no sleeping for me, I'm losing my faith / love is not safe in a world filled with hate"

I had actually retired to my bed for the night at about 7:30pm. Tried watching a DVD, but got distracted so turned it off, then spent the next couple of hours trying to will myself to get sleepy while browsing the internet on my mobile.

Then for some reason I started to feel upset so came into the living room and switched on the computer, so I could do some 'proper' 'net surfing.

My office manager texted me today to let me know she got my sick line from the Doctor through the post, and was unbelievably kind and wanted to know that I was alright and if I needed her to come through to drop off food for me. I thanked and reassured her by saying that I'd been at my parents' the past few days and had been sufficiently overfed ('Irish portions', you understand) and that I had food here anyway.
And then one of the work colleagues texted afterwards to check I was alright and that I've got get better soon. Although my office manager had been in touch previously, that was the first time that any of my other work friends / colleagues bothered to get in touch.

I would have stayed at my parents' for longer but my Dad has a knack for stressing me and my Mum out, usually within 2 minutes of entering the room. And I just couldn't hack it another day - I was there to try to relax and start getting better, not get wound up and feel worse.

So I feel guilty about that, but it's the truth so what can I do?

Since last week, though, my constant companion has been my cuddly toy, Shep. I've had him since I was about 3, and I took him with me to my parents' at the weekend, and with me in my bag to my Doctor's appointment on Monday. If I've not been falling asleep clutching him to my chest all night, then I have him on the pillow next to me - like the ultimate comfort / anti-anxiety blanket.

Shep
- dispenser of cuddles and probably now composed of about 15% salt from tears shed over the years

Since I have nothing and no one else it's what I have to settle for lol